I’ll preface this whole thing by saying “No, I’m not suicidal, this is just an exercise. I’m firmly happy in my existence and would prefer to stay this way for the foreseeable future.” I’ve always had a kind of curiosity around suicide notes. Specifically, the words and thoughts people choose to be their last. What…

Sorry I haven’t written in a while- I’ve been busy picking at scabs, as it were. A small life update to begin: I am no longer anxious inside the gym and am getting pretty decent results from the usual routines. I never thought I’d be that guy, but I sort of understand the obsession with…

Philosophy is my academic background, if you didn’t know. I took classes on political theory, logic, phenomenology, existentialism, metaphysics, ethics, language, all that. My alma mater leans quite heavily into aesthetics, meaning a lot of the professors’ academic focuses were on things like beauty or color. I took only one of these, a class called…

A breakup is fundamentally a period of intense withdrawals, a topic I’m quite familiar with. See, there are two ways to handle withdrawals, you can either ween yourself off or go cold turkey. Depending on your personality (I’m speaking strictly of nicotine withdrawals here), either strategy can work. Personally, I’m a cold turkey guy- I…

I’ve realized that a lot of my posts are very, umm, self-critical/self-important. I think that’s due to A) my personality but also B) the time at which I write, which is at night around like 11:00 p.m. I’m not the most positive person when the sun is gone. So, I figured I’d hop on this…

“Man plans, and God laughs.” In my particular case, most suffering comes from expectation. Having them for yourself, others having them for you, measuring up to them, others not measuring up to them, you know, all that. If I really deeply analyze the times I’m most upset or the things that make me angriest, it’s…

I haven’t been hungover before, at least not that I remember in recent years. That’s not due to having a solid constitution or anything, I just don’t drink. Well, it sucks. Pile that onto the grand total of maybe an hour and a half of sleep I got last night and I’m just getting my…

I’m good and drunk tonight. While I’ve typically kept my alcohol consumption in the past week relatively even, tonight I went out with some friends to a cocktail bar and I guess I didn’t know my limits. I didn’t eat today, not much anyway, plus everything went down easy. Now I’m trying to type this…

‘Love is a myth,’ Grandfather Trout said. ‘Like summer.’‘What?’‘In winter,’ Grandfather Trout said, ‘summer is a myth. A report, a rumor. Not to be believed in. Get it? Love is a myth. So is summer.” Little Big, John Crowley I really loved this quote when I first read Little Big. It was a recommendation from…

You know that feeling you have when you trip going up stairs and people see you? It’s like embarrassment or shame or whatever, but it’s a little more self-conscious than that? Almost like you committed a faux pas, someone just honked at you at the stoplight. I feel like that today. I’m not sure why…