today is the day I was supposed to get married, which is interesting. It sort of contextualizes just how short and how long the period between breakup and now has been. I think today is also the 6-month mark since the breakup.
it’s kind of funny to think about how stressed we were about the planning, how little turnaround time we had, all the little details we had to get together and all the vendors we had to contact and invitations to send, but instead, we spent the time literally doing the opposite. 6 months felt like no time at all to plan a wedding, but 6 months has felt like quite a long time to be broken up.
I don’t have any grand plans for the day. I was supposed to go to a cabin with my buds back home but that fell through for various reasons. Last night we made a fire and sat outside and drank and shot the shit for a while and that was pretty nice. I really do love my friends. I missed Dalton a lot. Today, I think P and I are going to grill out and watch football and do white dude shit, as is customary. Tonight, maybe a karaoke bar with the whole gang. We might go to the renaissance fair tomorrow.
while all of these plans sound nice and fun and fulfilling, there is still a kind of sadness lingering underneath that, just knowing what I thought today was going to entail. I was really excited, yknow. I mean, I do think it’s for the best that it’s not happening, and I’m not sure I was ready to be married, but still, I was excited.
when we were planning the wedding, I looked through a bunch of historical weather data so we could pick a fall date that wouldn’t be too cold. I think our ceremony was at like 5, so I’m not sure how warm it’ll be then, but as of right now it’s beautiful and sunny and clear, so I’ll take a small win on that.
sorry, I’m having to write this on my phone and I just don’t feel the same level of motivation when I’m typing things out with my thumbs. I was supposed to get married today!! I miss my ex!! Woo!!
jeez, louise 