Today was the day. I felt restless around lunchtime and trekked out to the jewelry shop where I had first purchased the ring. Even though the return policy of “exchange good for 7 days, refund good for 30” was written in bold ink on the back of the receipt, I figured it was worth a try to see if they would take it back for at least 20% of what I paid. Unfortunately, the worker was as decisive as the terms above and I left the store the same way I came in.
I then went to a nearby pawn shop, which only offered me like…$100. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to mosey around and check out other venues and see if I could beat that price. I went to a second pawn shop which said about the same. At that point, selling a ring for something like 5% of its original purchase price just felt…scummy. Transforming a totem of commitment into a singular hundred-dollar bill was just too much for me, it was too much of a reduction, it felt like it would devalue everything I’d been through. But of course, I can’t hold onto the thing. I certainly don’t have the emotional capacity nor the will to try to sell it on Facebook Marketplace or on Craigslist or whatever, so I need to do something with it while I’m out and about and have the energy to do so.
Well, I did. I did do something with it. It’s pretty funny. And $100 for a good joke is a much better deal than $100 for the renouncing and destroying of past plans. I’m certain I made a mistake and it won’t be near as funny as I’m picturing it, emotionally it might hurt even more than just holding onto the thing, taking all the meaning of the stone and morphing it into a laugh. But who knows, man, now that I know I’m not getting anything for it, if the emotional toll is too great, I won’t feel bad about just skipping it across a lake like a stone or burying it in the forest somewhere. That feels more poetic to me anyways.
jeez, louise 